Love, Geek and Healthy Lifestyle: Dial it back

Dial it back

By Only me - 19/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was trying to chat up a girl by showing off my new smartwatch. I proudly said, “It even reads my heartbeat!” It was 132 bpm. She looked at me and asked, “Are you OK? Or just incredibly out of shape from talking to me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 477

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Same thing different taste

The heart wants…

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch notified me that my heart rate spiked at the same time as my partner was getting me to listen to her favourite band's favorite song, and she took it as I sign that we must like the same music, and that we are so compatible. What she doesn't know is that I was checking my ex’s social media on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 807

Don't do this

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at the gym trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She was on the treadmill, and I thought it would be cute to wave hello. Instead, she looked horrified and sped up, then slipped and fell off the treadmill. She thought I was mocking her, and now everyone at the gym hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 435

Take a chill pill

By Anonymous - 01/12/2023 09:00

Today, my smartwatch decided I needed a "stress level" alert during a perfectly calm meeting. It vibrated aggressively, and my boss suggested I take up yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 163

By Idiot - 22/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 903

You deserved it 1 358

There was an attempt…

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I tried to flirt with a guy at the gym by commenting on his headphones, saying, “Nice headphones, you must be into music.” He stared at me blankly and said, “I’m not wearing any headphones, these are just my ears.” I swear I heard him laugh as I backed away, defeated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 486

Overzealous Fitbit

By Annoyed - 05/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I decided to try a new fitness tracker. After walking around all day, I looked at my app to check how many steps I’d taken, only to realize the tracker had counted every time I flailed my arms in frustration trying to figure out how to set it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 322

By TomorrowMaybe - 08/10/2016 16:29 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 787

You deserved it 8 276

I like to (not) move it move it

By vava101 - 25/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 214

On the move

By Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 426

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 5 229

Studious_Gluteus 19

Tuesday 20 May 2025 0:48

Getting excited is to be expected when talking to a crush. Good try. If / when you find yourself in a similar situation again, you'll likely have multiple charming ways to handle it.

core01 30

Tuesday 20 May 2025 4:24

Next time, try asking HER what her favorite things are.

Comments

Studious_Gluteus 19

Tuesday 20 May 2025 0:48

Getting excited is to be expected when talking to a crush. Good try. If / when you find yourself in a similar situation again, you'll likely have multiple charming ways to handle it.