Money Burn the stock market down

Burn the stock market down

Anonymous - 03/04/2022 10:00

Today, after I sold the bulk of my employer-granted stocks last week, assuming its the highest price the stock would reach in a while, it's now nearly 30% higher to the price I sold at. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 04/07/2012 16:41 - United States - Aurora

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

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Nothing to do with us

ticker $fml - 12/07/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, after I lost $5000 in crypto yesterday, I'm now down about $150k total since the start of the year. I just deployed more and bought $FML to make up for the losses. Hopefully it’ll happen. FML

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Evening out

Pissed and broke - 30/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I finally got a raise after years of hard work! Excited, I went on a shopping spree, but as I checked the latest prices, it turns out that my extra income barely covers the increase in my grocery bill. Thanks, inflation. FML

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fml - 27/03/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, after 3 years at my job I received a 14% raise. I was informed I will be transitioned from hourly to salary. I will now be making $1500 LESS than I made last year. FML

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Waiting for that trickle down

amused - - Canada - Toronto

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

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ferret702 - 05/02/2016 12:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML

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Noname - 30/10/2008 05:55 - France

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

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Dope - 24/12/2008 11:23 - United States

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

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Buyer's market

Anonymous - 20/06/2021 00:01

Today, I found out that my childhood vacation home was on sale for 149K. We sold it for 99K 9 months ago. FML

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Investing in the future

Anonymous - 19/04/2021 23:00 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, after years of being underpaid, I received my first paycheck at my new job. My new employer offers excellent benefits and a 401k. But after I invest in all these wonderful things, and after a $4 an hour pay increase, my net income is less than before. FML

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coolrunnings1021 14

Sunday 3 April 2022 10:44

Thats the risk you take on the Stockmarket though

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 April 2022 15:05

On the bright side, you won't be accused of insider trading.

coolrunnings1021 14

Sunday 3 April 2022 10:44

Thats the risk you take on the Stockmarket though

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 April 2022 15:05

On the bright side, you won't be accused of insider trading.

geckohead 12

Monday 4 April 2022 0:50

No! It's LONG term. Should have just sat on it. Oh well.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML

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Today, I told an employee to turn her camera on during a meeting when she worked remote. Since she refused to turn it on, I questioned the veracity of whether she was actually working at home, so I threatened to take disciplinary action. She responded by filing a complaint to HR. FML

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Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

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Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

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Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

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Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

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