Money: Benefits

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 981

You deserved it 14 298

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 157

You deserved it 1 625

By Tallow101 - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 858

You deserved it 6 668

By IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 5 829

By RIP - 15/07/2012 05:02 - United States

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 429

You deserved it 28 477

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 849

You deserved it 2 656

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 111

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:12 - United States

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 487

You deserved it 3 350

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 579

You deserved it 4 527

By jerk_ex_boyfriend - 21/04/2013 13:33 - United States - Narberth

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 460

You deserved it 6 180

By ILuvYouSoldiers - 26/06/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 502

You deserved it 21 478

laestrellita 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:32

Leave them NOTHING!

mattypants 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:12

that is so messed up...and someone YDI this... I feel for ya

Comments

linzilady 0

Monday 25 May 2009 5:07

I agree completely with #62. Who the **** deserves that?

BKF 0

Monday 25 May 2009 22:36

That's ****** up. And who the hell would YDI this?

Lisimal 7

Tuesday 26 May 2009 9:08

you should leave them a box of shit.

thegirlinwhite 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 14:54

That's so ******!! Man.. you should leave them nothing at all! :(

butter_flew 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 5:13

that sucks, ;(

eurghmylife 0

Friday 29 May 2009 2:49

Thats disgusting, i would kicked their ass! FYL :( bless you x

12r34 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:00

thats actually real sad

lovely997 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:14

i agree with number 7, that does make sense

Arbeitslos 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 15:25

Don't die!!

retardthinkswhat 3

Friday 5 June 2009 5:22

No offense but they're a couple of ****** up bitches

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The Top

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 789

You deserved it 12 471

Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 146

Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 489

Today, I maxed out my credit card trying to help a friend of over 19 years to go see her family for Christmas, only to find out she changed her mind and doesn’t really want to go. I can’t return the bus tickets, and she’s mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 382

Today, my son is going to jail for robbing our church. This happened a year after my daughter was arrested for breaking in to the same church so she could have sex as a big "Fuck You" to God. I can’t show my face there anymore, and it’s the only church within 50 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 1 556

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 799

You deserved it 2 686

Benefits

Same thing different taste

Nice family you've got there

Wish you were here

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