Intimacy: Any day now… - FML

Any day now…

By justwow - 13/07/2010 14:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I must be the only person who has been taking the contraceptive pill for six years without ever needing to use it as a contraceptive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 193

You deserved it 9 300

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Same thing different taste

By theflow - 15/08/2012 17:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 260

You deserved it 4 552

By PurpleSloth - 15/02/2013 13:57 - United States - Tracy

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 917

You deserved it 16 088

Malpractice

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 84

By samantha - 17/08/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 068

You deserved it 201

Oops

By maybe time to adopt - 04/03/2018 15:00

Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 560

You deserved it 1 170

By jdrew32 - 04/02/2013 02:17 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Spicy

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 565

You deserved it 5 139

By irwingiggles - 08/02/2015 10:26 - Netherlands

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 843

You deserved it 4 081

By Anonymous - 18/07/2012 16:09 - United Kingdom - Darlington

Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 471

You deserved it 2 722

Awkward conversation ahead

By Anonymous - 19/12/2021 23:01

Spicy

Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 239

Long haul

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 99

Next

Top comments

Roxeant 8

Tuesday 13 July 2010 19:05

Tons of people take birth control. Hell, I'm a lesbian and I take it to regulate my hormones/period/migraines. The real FML is that you haven't had sex in six years.

hjbeachbum 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 19:24

It's kindof sad that everyone says "ohhh, it sucks that you haven't had sex in six years" There is a ton of people that never have because they don't want to. I'm not having sex until I'm married. And I'm fine with that. so honestly anyone can survive without having sex. It's not that big of a deal.

Comments

SadinSherman 16

Thursday 4 November 2010 18:42

Get out meet some people.

dansco 24

Tuesday 1 February 2011 7:44

How long you been married?! ;)

kainwolf 0

Monday 21 February 2011 11:27

My ex took the pill to keep from having "heavy flows" during her time. She took them 3 months straght then had her time. Why I needed to know this, I'll never know.

exuberancegirl 0

Monday 28 March 2011 4:06

26 amen! im waiting to have sex until im married.... and so what she hasnt had any? in freaking 14 and havent hadsex yet! plus i go to a private school and the guys rnt tht interesting

pineappledro 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 17:16

no alot of people take them to help with their periods

Tonyy1 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 23:51

dang...sucks for u

kattyeyedkay 0

Monday 18 April 2011 9:42

Meh. I mainly take mine because of the horribleness I go thru every month. The anti-baby is just a wonderful side effect!

Arya1990 7

Monday 25 July 2011 0:17

Same here. I am prescribed one as a HRT because I have Turner Syndrome and my ovaries don't produce estrogen and progesterone like they should.

ThisRandomChild 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 10:55

Ur not the only one...

MeleMallory 0

Monday 26 September 2011 9:41

Nope. I started the Pill when I was 16 and lost my virginity at 22. And based on the guys I've slept with, I wish I was still a virgin...

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 218

You deserved it 2 541

Today, I blocked my landlord on social media messengers because he wouldn't stop trying to get with me, while living in a house with him, his wife, and kids. I wasn't interested, and wanted to be respectful and protect my living situation. My disinterest upset him. I now have until next month to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 118

Today, while heartbroken, I reached out to an old friend who I hadn’t spoken to in a while. He responded to my, “Hello” with, “You need to lift the veil from your eyes. Q is leaving breadcrumbs so Donald can take down the zionist deep state that’s feeding us babies in our Big Macs.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 236

Today, I woke up with a terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super cute dentist chick enters and says, "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 717

You deserved it 3 634

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 692

You deserved it 3 014

Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 962

You deserved it 2 579