Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 12/07/2017 02:32

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't believe I was sexually assaulted a week ago. He thinks I cheated on him. FML

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SadRetailWorker - 11/07/2017 19:24 - United States - Wilson

Today, I let my 14 year old cousin drive the 4-wheeler along the driveway to turn it around. The very first time down and back she didn't go far enough and hit my less than a month old car. I haven't told my mother yet. FML.

- 11/07/2017 20:16 - United States

Today at work my co-worker who is 87 years old admitted she liked The Eagles. I quoted the famous line from The Big Lebowski, "Man fuck The Eagles!" out of instinct FML

- 12/07/2017 01:39

I got arrested and charged with possession of a dangerous drug..... for my own prescription pills because they were in a weekly organizer instead of the bottles

pip - 11/07/2017 20:13

Today, my Dad's paranoia got out of control. He screamed at me claiming that I'm bullying him, that I try to set up collegues against him, and that I'm trying to work him out of his own organisation. All the while I'm 18 weeks pregnant and too busy trying to keep my hormones under control.

fml1878 - 11/07/2017 19:51

Today I went on a date with a girl I liked for about six months, she brought a friend, so I did too. Halfway through the date she fell for my friend and now they are a thing. FML

dfiggs - 11/07/2017 15:55

Today, my wife has the worst case of morning sickness I have ever witnessed. Between the food aversions and her sensitivity to smells, I've been relegated to sleeping in my office and handling all diaper changes for our 2 year old. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't work 45 minutes away.

scared for life - 11/07/2017 15:38

My son (18) plugged his phone into my PC to charge it up. It decided to download all of the pics from the phone to my computer. Typical 18 yr old male with a plethora of snatch pics of his troglodyte girlfriend. I will never get the image of that grizzled hatchet wound out of my head. fml

That's Helpful - 11/07/2017 09:22

Today, the guy I like told me how amazing of a wife I'm going to be someday and how my future husband and kids will be so lucky to have me. Why are we not dating? Because I'm 2 years younger than him. FML

FoolInLove - 11/07/2017 02:10 - United States - Oberlin

Today I met the most wonderful woman. We've got chemistry that's explosive, she's brilliant and everything I've been looking for. She likes me too, and we spent hours sexting after admitting our instant connection. She's also moving in with her boyfriend tomorrow. FML

"Katherine MaeRose" - 11/07/2017 07:05

Today I realized my boyfriends 5 year old extremely stubborn house trained wiener dog has been refusing to poop for 4 days because I punished her for pooping in the house. She is now sick and refusing to eat because she's been containing her own waste. FML.

Anonymous - 11/07/2017 06:33

Today was my first day back at work in over 4 weeks from being hospitalized for mono & the recovery. At the end of the day my boss fired me for something another manager did while I was out of the office. I have $50 to last me until I start a new job and $400 worth of bills due within 2 weeks. FML.

fuckingweeb - 11/07/2017 04:32

Today, I realized that I've jacked off to so much hentai that I know the Japanese words for "pussy" and "dick." What am I even doing with my life? FML

wasnt-even-stoned-yet - 11/07/2017 04:31

Today, I chipped my tooth on my friend's bong. FML

Icecreamman - 11/07/2017 02:27

Today I dropped my phone and cracked it trying to post an FML about how I cost my boss $1000 and have to pay it. FML.

weak4lyfe - 11/07/2017 02:12

Today, I finally decided to get back into lifting weights. Immediately after my first few reps I got such a bad blister that I couldn't grip anything with my right hand. FML

All Gums - 10/07/2017 23:57

Today, at 25, I had the entire top row of my teeth removed. Now all I want is to eat a cheeseburger with chips. FML

ABridh - 10/07/2017 22:59

Today my friend and I were sitting at a local coffee shop and an older gentleman came over to us. He says, excuse me, Miss? You have a beautiful daughter. My friend is 2 years younger than me. I don't think I've ever been more insulted. FML

MrsClean - 10/07/2017 21:14 - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, I live in an apartment provided by my employer, including cleaning lady. So far I had to pull six months worth of hair out of the shower drain, had to open the siphon of the sink to get the mold out and I have a drain fly infestation. I have to clean up after my cleaning lady. FML

INeedNewTeeth - 10/07/2017 20:07

Today I found out I need over $10,000.00 in dental work done thanks to neglect, sugar, and drug addictions. FML

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Brokeaf - 10/07/2017 20:06

Today, I'm so broke that I've had to wipe my pads clean with toilet paper, so I don't run out before the end of the week. FML

schmeckles - 10/07/2017 19:28

Today, I was on my parents bed with my little sister. She woke up, so I put her back to sleep. I was wondering where my mom was so she could breastfeed her, and when I looked on the floor my parents were having sex.. Later she lied and said my dad was stepping on her back. FML.

Sierra Schraml - 10/07/2017 17:59

After going weeks without a phone, my mother took my upgrade and gave me her phone to use... I found an active Tinder account on my married mothers phone...

aperson01 - 10/07/2017 17:30

Today, I took my moms car out with out her knowing. Being a teen, I picked up my girlfriend and was out till 4 in the morning. Driving home, I saw a glimpse of a toll sign saying I have drove through a toll. Currently waiting for the day my life ends. FML

tokenchef - 10/07/2017 11:08 - United Kingdom

Today I decided to go for a jog as I want to make a return to Sunday League Football (Soccer for the Americans), as I crossed the road I was hit by a car and fractured my Tibia and Fibula (the bones in the lower part of my leg) now I'm laid up in bed for at least the next 3 months FML

Emma - 10/07/2017 08:49

Today, me and a few friends were discussing our fetishes to get to know each other a little better. One dude (My crush) admitted his foot fetish, but when I said I had a gore fetish all he said was "what the fuck, man. you gonna gut me or something?" and left, refusing to talk to me afterwards. FML.

Icecreamman - 10/07/2017 07:27

Today I closed the froyo shop where I work. the fridge in the front was out of water bottles! It was already late. I ran to the walk in fridge, grabbed a bunch, kicked the door open and left. In morning boss calls me to tell me the fridge door was open all night. $1000 of froyo turned to cheese. FML

Carless - 10/07/2017 07:15

Today, to celebrate my birthday, I went into town with some friends. Afterwards, I couldn't find my car. So it's either been impounded, stolen, or I'm such a numbskull that I completely forgot where I parked it. FML

slmwhitechick - 09/07/2017 20:29 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I finally located my biological father after more than 20 years searching. I found his obituary that was linked to 33 pics of him and his other 4 kids. The obit listed him as a loving father, guess I'll never know since I never got to meet him. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

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Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

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Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

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Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

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Today, I was working as a stagehand for one of my college classes. I’m diabetic and can’t go without food for more than a few hours. I was told that if I left early, ate anything backstage, or passed out, I would fail the class. I passed out. FML

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