Work

Perfect 10

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 610

Double standard

By hurikan68 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I requested two hours off for tomorrow afternoon. My supervisor and manager called me into the office to talk to me about how important it is to be in the office as much as possible. A little later, my supervisor told me that for budgeting reasons, I have to take 3 non-paid days off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 115

You deserved it 2 783

Demon work

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I texted my boss to tell him that I'd be late because of a dentist appointment. Auto-correct decided to change "dentist" to "exorcist." So, I ended up sending, "Sorry, I’ll be late today. I have an exorcist appointment." My boss's reply was, "Take all the time you need." Now he looks at me like I’m possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 318

Do it on company time

By Ayeya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to print out a 100-page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this, I picked a time when I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes, waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 865

You deserved it 74 968

Ill prepared

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 03:00 - United States - Stockton

Today, I have a friend who I’m scared is going to become a nurse. She didn’t even know that morning sickness can last all day and that “morning” sickness is just its name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 150

All heil!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my company released its yearly magazine and I was in the background of a picture directing men around the site. It was the worst photograph I’ve ever seen. It managed to make me look like Hitler with an exposed belly, including the moustache and the salute, and I don’t even have a moustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 117

Meddling

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 01:30 - India

Today, after I tried to help my friend bust his cheating girlfriend, he seems to still trust her, so now my office friends think I'm a bigmouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 183

Play that Blink 182 song

By Mommys boy - 16/08/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 402

Teamwork

By eventer1919 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rice Lake

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 1 893

Are you OK?

By anon - 15/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 412

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 423

You deserved it 3 130

Thanks, I think?

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I received a package at work. Thinking it was something I ordered, I opened it in front of my coworkers. It was a gift from my grandmother: a giant pink, “I Love My Grandson” T-shirt. The worst part? They insisted I put it on and take a picture to send to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 302

Desperate

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I wish there were easier ways to make money online. I can’t bring myself to do OnlyFans or things of that nature, but I’m getting desperate. My mother only helps my male sibling, as I should just have all my shit together because I’m a woman. I don't know what the fuck to do. I’m in a workers' compensation case with no pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 134

Haste

By JulieFromMars - 15/08/2024 09:00 - Ireland - Galway

Today, I was running late for work and I was carrying my stuff to my car, handbag over my shoulder, laptop in one hand, and my coffee in the other. As I tried to unlock my car, I spilt the coffee all over myself, the car, and my laptop. Now, I’m sticky, wet, and my laptop won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 270

Get out

By pissed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I got offered an interview for a job after months of unemployment. It's a three-month contract, three hours away from where we live. My boyfriend's reaction was to tell me to move out and take our hamster with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 333

You deserved it 1 251

Something rotten

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the gas company had to be called into work for a possible gas leak. The pipes are fine. I had White Castle for dinner last night. I'm the gas leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 139

You deserved it 1 436

Am I hired?

By KLM - 14/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I had a job interview. As I walked in, I confidently shook the interviewer's hand, only to say, "I'm doing well, how are you?" before she'd even asked me how I was, or even said anything. The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur of awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 238

Fashionista

By Cousin_Greg - 14/08/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I got dressed in a hurry and grabbed what I though was a basic white shirt from the clean laundry pile. It wasn’t until I stepped into the elevator at work and saw myself in the mirror that I realized I was wearing one of my girlfriend’s shirt. It was snug, had a floral pattern, and made me look like I was trying too hard to be trendy. It was a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 536

Basic bitch

By kismet_fire - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her three different bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 226

You deserved it 2 793

Familiar

By Looks familiar - 13/08/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my coworker asked me for advice for a clever comeback after she got an unsolicited dick pic. I sent her some zingers to roast the creep into oblivion. Afterward she sent me screenshots. I recognized the mole and birthmark immediately. It was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 129

Incompetence

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to spend a quite considerable chunk of my Saturday on the phone to my boss explaining that no, it is not reasonable or convenient for him to try and cancel my honeymoon leave, all because he messed up the schedules, and doesn’t want to upset the other girl in the office he fancies like mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 69

Dr Phil

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and, like any sane person, eavesdropped on the couple in front of me. The guy was breaking up with his girlfriend, and she was crying. As they got off, I patted her on the back and said, "You can do better, honey." It wasn’t until the doors closed that I realized I had just encouraged my boss's wife to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 551

Fur suit

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 14:00 - Sweden - Harplinge

Today, I rushed to a job interview, but my cat rubbed against me, covering my suit in fur. I grabbed a lint roller, tripped over the cat, and knocked out a front tooth. I showed up sweaty, disheveled, and missing a tooth. I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 126

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 687

ALIENS!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation on ancient civilizations. As a joke, my friend dared me to do the whole thing using puppets, which I thought it would be hilarious. Halfway through, I noticed the look on my professor's face and my classmates giggling. My professor has a phobia of puppets and I was the only one unaware of this fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 171

Nice to know

By Sarah - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 209

You deserved it 1 806

Stinky

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 17:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 362

Lost in the sauce

By Kelgor - 07/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I started to give a 30-minute presentation about environmental sustainability. When I'd finished what I though was a powerful introduction, I was informed that I was in the wrong conference room, speaking to a group of what appeared to basically be a bunch oil barons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 293

Morning boost

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 14:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my Stanley mug of coffee. Halfway to work, I took a big swig only to realize I had grabbed my son’s thermos of chicken noodle soup, which I then spat out. My car now smells like a deli, and I'm still uncaffeinated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 577

Scammed out

By Karen - 05/08/2024 03:00 - United States - Solon

Today, after leaving one job, reducing my hours at another, completing all the onboarding requirements for a nursing home, and dealing with serious anxiety, I was told they don’t have hours available for me and don’t know when they will. I got laid off before even starting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 85

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 791

You deserved it 6 136

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 314

You deserved it 2 406

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 229

You deserved it 2 649

Today, I got my 11-year old son the NERF Elite 2.0 Shockwave RD-15 Blaster that he has been begging for as his birthday gift. Guess who the primary target is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 982

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 725

You deserved it 3 303

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled, "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 815

You deserved it 3 792