Love

By frenchboyfriend - 14/11/2010 00:28 - Australia

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 796

You deserved it 38 320

frenchboyfriend tells us more.

frenchboyfriend 0

Monday 15 November 2010 5:51

The next day (on her actual birthday), I wished her a happy birthday again and luckily I still had a present for her (I had planned on giving her the nicest present right before bed the previous night but when she told me her birthday was the next day, I kept it for her real birthday!). :-)

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 23:00 - Canada

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 059

You deserved it 3 366

By girlwithaprob - 13/11/2010 21:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 3 749

Yay me!

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 627

You deserved it 5 781

By looke27 - 13/11/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 328

You deserved it 37 642

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 06:09 - Australia

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 009

You deserved it 4 294

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 3 019

By baconbreath=| - 13/11/2010 05:12 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 105

You deserved it 9 645

By Samipearl - 12/11/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 518

You deserved it 6 414

Fake news

By sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 153

You deserved it 11 326

I miss you

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 00:41 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 690

You deserved it 3 996

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 08:40 - France

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 552

You deserved it 3 996

Red circle gang

By lala - 11/11/2010 02:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 741

You deserved it 4 741

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 01:43 - United States

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 606

You deserved it 4 603

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 838

You deserved it 37 181

By botheredgf - 09/11/2010 12:02 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 593

You deserved it 4 440

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 582

You deserved it 5 375

By ashbox233 - 09/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 171

You deserved it 85 604

Banjo starts playing in the background

By unknown - 09/11/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 250

You deserved it 5 183

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 09:50 - United States

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 577

You deserved it 8 489

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 21:32 - United States

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 901

You deserved it 3 526

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 00:42 - United States

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 490

You deserved it 3 123

By anonymous - 06/11/2010 22:37 - Canada

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 26 857

By anonymous_0505 - 06/11/2010 17:24 - Russian Federation

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 851

You deserved it 9 476

By iheartexes - 06/11/2010 04:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary celebration because his ex girlfriend asked him to go to a wedding with her and pose as her fake boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 317

You deserved it 4 098

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:40 - United States

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 183

You deserved it 7 395

By distressed - 05/11/2010 23:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 549

You deserved it 4 112

By nolife - 05/11/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 423

You deserved it 2 990

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 09:19 - Australia

Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 796

You deserved it 3 181

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 4 749

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 883

You deserved it 14 739

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 911

You deserved it 5 192

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 559

You deserved it 4 633

Today, my two year old got out of her crib while I was sleeping and destroyed $700 worth of my makeup from Sephora. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 644

You deserved it 1 602

Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 84

Today, the girl of my dreams told me she only wants me for sex and not a relationship. Apparently, she thinks that because I left my ex to be with her, that I’ll do the same thing to her. It’s not like I cheated to be with her. I left my ex when I realized I caught feelings for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 1 175