Funerals

Pick your battles

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 646

You deserved it 53 823

A lot to take in

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 05:00 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I'm hopping on a flight to Florida to pay my final respects to a friend. In December I had to attend the funeral of a friend's young daughter who just didn't wake up one day. In the following two weeks I lost a friend to a heart attack, a friend to suicide, and two friends to cancer. Tomorrow I attend my final funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 107

Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I missed a single letter when reading the Bible at church. Instead of "Hope was rich with immortality", I said "Hope was rich with immorality." Nobody at the funeral noticed, except an anonymous FML user who tried not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 108

Great question, I'm glad you asked

By partycats - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted, "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 037

You deserved it 19 951

See you around, then

By Joanna B - 25/09/2025 12:00

Today, at the end of my great grandmother's funeral, her daughter (my grandma) told me and my mother that she doesn’t have a reason to come back and visit anymore, and that everyone in her life is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 66

By waytootan - 22/08/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 043

You deserved it 3 135

Controlling

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my soon to be ex-husband and ex-mother in law informed me I couldn't go to the funeral of a really good friend we shared. I went anyway, but I can't imagine how the divorce is going to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 103

By Jeff G. - 23/01/2012 00:31 - United States

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 5 915

Happy anniversary?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 02:00 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 150

F*** Grandma, eh kids?

By Sorry mommy - 13/08/2024 05:00 - United States - Corona

Today, I was so distraught during my mother’s funeral that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything around me. At some point, my kids changed my ringtone to “Ding dong the witch is dead” and turned my phone to full volume. They called while I was doing her eulogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 118

Ants and aunts

By Ante Up - 09/07/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I had to deal with both ants and aunts. It was my great aunt's burial, and so I had to deal with my OTHER great aunt, who is a judgmental Karen. Later on, I tried to get a snack from the pantry. There were ants crawling everywhere, which I didn't realize until I almost ate an ant-infested pop tart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 181

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Metamora

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 239

You deserved it 5 367

There you are

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at an aunt's wake, my five year-old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 574

You deserved it 3 644

Why are we even here?

By Bamboozled - 03/11/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that we were going to go and see my uncle, who lives very far away. I got excited, until I realized they fucking lied so I would attend the funeral of an acquaintance of my father, whom I had never met in my life, and he only met a couple times. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 146

What's on your mind?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 22:06 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "Bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 424

You deserved it 4 385

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 161

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 144

You deserved it 5 628

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 04/06/2019 22:00

Today, despite all my begging for him to at least be civil, my son started his eulogy at his dad's funeral with the words, “Let me tell you a few things about the bastard in the coffin over there.” It only got worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 719

They can't feel you

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 17:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I went to a funeral with my family. As we were walking on the grass to the burial site, my 5-year-old brother curiously asks, in a not-so-quiet voice, "Sissy, are we walking on dead people?" It was hard to answer his question with so many glaring people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 166

Supportive

By Anonymous - 14/08/2022 18:00 - Australia

Today, it's my husband's funeral. My adult children never made it secret that they didn't like him, but I'd hoped they'd come to support me. Their replies when I asked them went from, "You know I hated him", to "No, I have work", to "I'm not going anywhere near that fanatic's church." FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 1 238

Over my dead body

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 131

Read the room

By haqL - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Queretaro

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 133

You deserved it 5 045

Have kid they said, it'll be great they said

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 02:00

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 276

Sacred spot

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 02:00

Today, after I spent a fortune on plane tickets and hiked a mountain so I could spread dad's ashes around the boulder where he proposed to mom, and where mom's ashes were scattered 3 years ago, the moment was ruined by the fat, stoned teenagers having sex on the boulder here in the middle of nowhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 308

Empathy 101

By Anonymous - 16/05/2022 04:00

Today, I was supposed to attend my best friend's funeral. When I asked my boss for time off, she actually said friends don't justify having the day off, unlike say a blood relative. My boss is autistic, so she struggles to understand certain things, but even for her that was a real prick thing to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 310

The disrespect

By Anonymous - 20/07/2021 11:01

Today, I visited my mom at the graveyard first thing in the morning. Not even 24 hours after the funeral, someone’s dog had taken a massive, liquidy shit all over her grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 68

Tattoos are for life

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 11:01

Today, my husband cried more at the funeral of his tattoo artist than he did at his grandmother's funeral. Seriously, at the artist's funeral, he was crying; at his grandmother's, he kept checking the time on his phone and yawning. What man did I marry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 382

RIP in peace

By Jill - 01/11/2021 06:00 - United States - Fredonia

Today, I found out that my favorite aunt passed away. The funeral was last Thursday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 100

The little known stages of grief

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 22:00

Today, for some reason my girlfriend wanted to have sex in the bathroom at a family funeral. I’m sure that’s a sin, I mean… we definitely did it, so sorry Nana, but now I feel all wrong about it and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 1 627

Don't hate the player…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 14:00

Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 288

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The Top

Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 031

You deserved it 1 089

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 594

You deserved it 4 707

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 050

You deserved it 11 943

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 455

You deserved it 9 216

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 978

You deserved it 4 366

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 137

You deserved it 5 731