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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bikes

    By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 19:21 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 299
    You deserved it 7 303
    Share  

    Rekt

    By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

    Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 88 397
    You deserved it 6 178
    Share  

    Nature is harsh

    By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

    Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 72 966
    You deserved it 6 763
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Smartphone Money Thief Transportation Relatable Argument Love Mental health Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky Family Christmas Kids Cats Animals Coffee Cute Clumsy Health Dogs Break-ups Coworkers Singing Work Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I received a grade of 0 for a paper I worked really hard on. When I emailed my professor for feedback, she told me she gave me a 0 because I misspelled Colombia as "Columbia" and that she's not responsible for my low IQ. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 003
    You deserved it 664
    Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 817
    You deserved it 60
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over one of our dog's toys. Instead of telling the doctors what actually happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 228
    You deserved it 2 523
    Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 44 523
    You deserved it 16 282
    Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 001
    You deserved it 3 073
    Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 183
    You deserved it 2 806
    Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 541
    You deserved it 4 320
    Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 078
    You deserved it 106 778
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