By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 10:25 - United States - Winter Park
The Top
By Thors_Hammer9999 - 23/11/2013 06:05 - United States - Cadillac
Thors_Hammer9999 tells us more.
By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey
By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 14:31 - United States
Ecological hazard
By waterballoons - 27/07/2009 08:35 - United States
The ole paper cut excuse
By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27
Welcome!
By madelynn - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 23:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 07:31 - United States
By fuckshitcockwaffle - 31/05/2013 14:59 - Australia - Bayswater
By Hey_Buddy_ - 11/06/2015 03:38 - United States - Jensen Beach
Hey_Buddy_ tells us more.
My bf isn't the most publicly affectionate guy (and I'm not the most publicly affectionate girl either, so it works out) so we saw each other with friends for a few hours before retreating back to spend time with just each other. I found this to be really funny, I just wanted to share it and didn't really have anyone to talk to about it and stuck it on here, never expecting it to be published. It's not like he hadn't said anything along those lines, just as far as saying "I missed you" my boobs and ****** got those first lol Nope, my boyfriend is wonderful and makes me laugh like crazy, and I'm even sitting in his apartment visiting him for a few days right now, laughing at all the comments on this post.
By Jennandco - 28/04/2015 05:23 - United Kingdom
Jennandco tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here! Yeah hahah, it was just funny because literally 5 minutes before hand, I questioned whether he had, because I had my suspicions and he had a huge go at me for even suggesting it. I'm basically 'thick' because I didn't figure that when we were arguing about his number of jobs, he said 'at least I'm not an unemployed prick' he was talking about his actual genitalia, rather than just his employment (we weren't having sex because I was still recovering from an operation because I had been really ill) I didn't want to believe it because we had been on/off for 6 years and he really meant a lot, but then he showed me their messages discussing their sex just to hurt me further, but then expected me to get over it. So I guess then I kind of had to, huh? But it wasn't the first time he had done that, first time I tried to get over it. Not this time.
Quick, hide!
By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States
By spellbound - 19/12/2012 14:59 - Australia - Perth
Fitness
By mobster - 26/07/2009 17:39 - United States
By Marco - 13/10/2008 08:29
Self serving
By PartTimePrincess - 10/09/2013 14:56 - United States
By Dreadge - 15/01/2010 19:37 - Israel
By indiansbaseball4 - 14/01/2010 08:27 - United States
indiansbaseball4 tells us more.
In Texas there are TONS of bars that are 18+....for all of you that claim it has been on a show, that's your own prerogative and you might need to get out more and quit watching so much TV. Just sayin'....BUT what's so bad about trying to experience an older woman while I'm still young enough to do something about it?? haha. Bad thing about the whole deal was, I never made a move on her other than dancing and I wasn't even looking at her when she started sobbing out of control! After the comment I bought her a drink, and never even glanced her way again. FYI, while I don't have a "fake," I use my brothers I.D., so as far as the bars are concerned, I'm 25..good call synchroskater
By drugsforthugs - 18/11/2014 17:26 - United States - Sierra Madre
By lostlove - 01/10/2011 02:57 - United States
By spandexwiener - 18/08/2012 16:27 - United States - Export
By thechad_144 - 01/06/2009 23:42 - United States
By Mc2013 - 12/10/2014 17:38 - United States
By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 14:57 - United States
Hey good lookin'
By Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz
Highly inappropriate
By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi
By anonymous - 09/05/2013 00:07 - United States - Casper
Kids will be kids
By littlebigbrother - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Japan
Felt cute
By dieana - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Lacombe
Keywords
Hi no I wasn't stuffed up anymore, my sinuses will drain twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall for about two or three days, I also tend to suffer from sinusitis and sinus infections. She showed up the day I was finally cleared up and was just loafing around the house. While I'd kept thinking I needed to take the trash out because it was gross just sitting there, but I wasn't expecting company, like I said she stopped by for a surprise visit. I was able to clear things up with my Grandpa, the man knows me better then anyone and he was just checking in on me out of concern because as he said "it didn't sound like me." It was also my idiot brother who spread it around after overhearing my ma conveying the story to my dad later that day. I have had several facebook messages and phone calls asking about it but most of the people who know me are aware of my sinus issues, especially after last spring when my sinuses got infected because of them and my face was all swollen....We're all still trying to figure out how my mom is surprised by it....Idk, guess she figures I'll grow out of it eventually. Finally while I have taken some good natured ribbing about it all and probably will for a while yet my mom has gotten it even worse and is incredibly embarrassed about it all....maybe it's enough so next spring she'll remember my sinus issues for once.