Miscellaneous

Hogs gonna hog

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 3

Freaky family

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I found out I am pregnant. I hooked up with my step-dad not that long ago while my mom was out of town. I'm 30 and he wants to tell my mom my baby is his, and I like the idea of telling her, but also know she won’t take it well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 766

Catwoman

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I thought nobody was around so I meowed loud as fuck but actually there was some dude right behind me on a bike. Yeah, I know that's my fault, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 350

Reflex

By OuchImAMoron - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 558

You deserved it 47 046

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son gave a beautiful eulogy at his uncle's funeral. At the pub afterwards, a bunch of family and friends told me what he did was pathetic, shameful, and an absolute disgrace. Turns out he plagiarised the entire eulogy, word for word, from a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 64

Baaaa!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 049

You deserved it 75 597

Overbearing

By bert - 11/09/2026 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I ate fruit for a snack before I left to visit my mom. When I arrived, she accused me of vaping because I smelled like fruit. I'm also 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 48

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 15:00 - Malaysia - Shah Alam

Today, I'm not sure if this even qualifies as a confession, but here goes: I'm weirdly but genuinely disappointed that my celebrity crush used to get naked on screen. Somehow my delulu brain had convinced itself she was a proper lady 24/7, on and off screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 527

Nine Inch Nails?

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 09:00 - Tanzania - Dar es Salaam

Today, I realized my mom, whom I've been distant with for a few months, doesn't know her birth date. She's in her thirties and I need to apply for a university loan but it's impossible without her NIN, and she knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 60

Owned

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - La Marque

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 8 055

Rebel yell

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom and stepdad finally grounded my horrible, rebellious sister. The problem is that they grounded me as well in order to "keep me in line and make sure that I don't do what she was doing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 67

True grime

By Yudith - 10/09/2026 09:00 - Canada - Laval

Today, despite the hotel where I'm staying having changed owners and being completely renovated, I still got the pleasure of writing "Wash me" into the grime of the swimming pool between two lengths of breaststrokes. Just like the old times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 76

Green thumb

By not helping - 09/09/2026 03:00 - South Africa

Today, after I agreed to water my friend's plants while she was on vacation, she'd given me very specific instructions for each one, so I made a schedule and followed it carefully. When she came home, she stared at the plants and asked why her cactus was sitting in a bowl of water. I'd read the wrong line on the schedule all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 349

Can't go on

By Anonymous - 09/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I quit football because my dad's death has made it too sad to keep doing it, but my mom is trying to talk me into staying, and trying to talk to the coach to convince me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 111

Surprised, indeed

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 22:00 - Denmark

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by cleaning the entire apartment while she was away. Three hours later, everything looked perfect. She came home, looked around, and immediately asked why her plant was missing. I had thrown it out because I thought it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 365

I'm not a magician

By oh hi - 08/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wallet on the pavement and took it to a police station. The officer opened it, looked at the ID, and said the owner lived two streets from me. I went back outside and nearly walked into said neighbour. He recognised his wallet immediately and hugged me. He then asked if I could also return his missing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 69

Blank canvas

By andromeda80 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Lakewood

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 785

You deserved it 2 867

WTF was that?

By trippin - 08/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, it was my first night house-sitting my friend's place while he's on vacation. I was reading in bed when I heard scratching downstairs, so I called him in a panic. He told me to check the kitchen. I did. It was his automatic robot vacuum thing, which he'd never thought to mention before, and it was repeatedly trying to climb onto a slipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 110

WHERE IS IT?

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I spent Saturday helping my uncle clean out his garage. He told me to throw away a box of “old useless cables.” I did. Later, he asked where the box was because it contained the only charger for his 20-year-old camera. We spent 3 hours searching the recycling bins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 67

What's that smell?

By fire!! - 07/09/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 352

Clean freak

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at home, I always do my share of the chores. I just got back from a business trip and it turns out that I actually do ALL the chores. My wife was alone for 9 days, the kitchen was a in state, dirty laundry everywhere, cat litter box overflowing onto the floor, and the bathroom was fucking disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 77

Miss you

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, it's my first birthday without my mom, who I was very close to. My friends asked a few days ago if I wanted to celebrate. I said yes, but nothing big. Just someone to be around. All I got was a brief "Happy birthday" text before the conversation moved on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 72

Nostalgia bait

By Distracted - 06/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found my old school yearbook while cleaning and decided to look up what everyone was doing now. I spent two hours searching for old classmates online, comparing careers and vacations. I then realized I'd completely ignored the pile of laundry I'd started cleaning the room for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 318

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 12:00 - Türkiye

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 92

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 248

Planning

By girlboss - 05/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I bought an expensive notebook because I wanted to become the kind of person who plans everything. On the first page, I carefully wrote my goals, habits, and schedule. I haven't opened it since. It is now the most organized thing I own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 260

Perverts!

By Not that type of friend! - 05/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, my husband and I have been trying to find a new friend group ever since we moved states for his job. As if trying to meet people as adults isn’t hard enough, everyone thinks that just because we’re friendly, we must be flirting. We legit just want new people to hang with, not swing with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 67

No-go zone

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Batley

Today, while on the phone with my mum I mentioned that we were thinking of moving and had seen a house we liked. Her response? "Glad you’re leaving that crime-ridden area." The house we’re looking at is two doors away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 73

We meet again

By BunniesOnAcid - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Clinton

Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 238

You deserved it 4 219

Sweet

By f_ck_U - 03/09/2026 20:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I returned to my sweet home after a two-month cozy vacation full of good memories, only to find that the place was sweet no more and had turned into a bug and mold-infested Petri dish uninhabitable for any living creature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 150

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Transportation Airport Suspicious My ex Love Awkward Weird Embarrassing Singing Work Relatable Miscellaneous Mysterious Creepy Scary Plumbing Confused Health Smoking Ironic Healthy Lifestyle Anger issues Dogs Animals Grandparents Cute Kids First Dates Family Pregnancy

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 895

You deserved it 2 670

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "Yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were then escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot." I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 120

You deserved it 24 240

Random

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 019

You deserved it 55 284

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 990

You deserved it 3 117

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 549

You deserved it 8 560

Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 137

You deserved it 234

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 1 325

Today, my family got mad at me for installing toilet paper going under instead of over. Considering I'm the only one who fills the empty spool, I thought that it wouldn't matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 434