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By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 3 534

By kiwichick4life - 30/07/2013 16:42 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 666

You deserved it 14 183

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 15:03 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 521

You deserved it 1 432

By Anonymous - 01/12/2015 09:49 - Australia - Corrimal

Today, I couldn't see my car in a crowded car park. I pressed unlock on my keys and saw the lights flash. As I walked over I also saw someone run from my car with an armful of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 6 619

By noname - 07/11/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 169

You deserved it 2 806

By P4ntless - 26/10/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 572

You deserved it 41 394

By Anonymous - 02/09/2016 14:50 - United Kingdom - Shepton Mallet

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 721

You deserved it 1 981

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 165

By doemetoch - 07/04/2014 13:49 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 367

You deserved it 4 230

doemetoch tells us more.

doemetoch 28

Tuesday 8 April 2014 12:19

OP here (yeah, I decided to make an account.) You're all right about him being very polite and all that, he was super sweet and mature about it and I could see he felt genuinely bad. But you know... somehow it's easier if a guy breaks up in a stupid way, at least then you're like "ugh, whatever, I deserve better than this anyway!" Or is that just me?

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 18:38 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 293

You deserved it 5 393

Letting off steam

By Username - 31/03/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 759

You deserved it 11 234

Communication Breakdown

By loling - 25/02/2010 09:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 506

You deserved it 3 880

By ProudMama - 08/01/2012 00:50 - United States

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 301

You deserved it 3 257

By sa la vash - 14/03/2015 08:22 - Netherlands

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 317

You deserved it 8 292

Assumptions

By Toast514 - 29/07/2009 23:49 - Canada

Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employees decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 167

You deserved it 62 581

I can't help it

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 17:47 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 275

You deserved it 11 956

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 694

You deserved it 3 279

Workplace hell

By insensitive prick - 19/08/2013 19:04 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was at a "Bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 685

You deserved it 9 062

Haunting

By right - 02/08/2013 14:08 - United Kingdom - Weymouth

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 714

You deserved it 8 238

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 3 972

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 141

You deserved it 3 200

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 4 063

By fuckmyliiiiiiife - 01/05/2009 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 440

You deserved it 25 979

Charity

By fail - 26/04/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I worked a carwash as a fundraiser. Being nice, I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 11 472

By anonymous - 06/05/2013 18:08 - United States - Poway

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 498

You deserved it 4 993

By Alexman1985 - 01/05/2013 10:30

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 157

You deserved it 4 997

By jlmed - 02/06/2014 23:10 - Colombia - Cali

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 814

You deserved it 3 962

jlmed tells us more.

jlmed 9

Thursday 5 June 2014 5:48

OP here, since some are curious for updates here it is (I made an account for this!): Sadly there isn't "more to the story", the University wanted more people to graduate and those two guys were the closest to the finish line (aside from myself). I have tried to raise hell, but since this is a very "macho" country no one is willing to back me up. Everyone knows it happened though. The rich old guys who run the University and took the decision in the first place can't even be reached, the only people higher up are government workers who are, of course, all men who are friendly with the rich old guys. Matters like these aren't exactly "priority" even if I did manage to reach an honest person in the government. I'm afraid I'm forced to "get over it" and just move on. Still pissed though. So, I've decided to save up and move to a country where I have possibility of equal pay (another big issue here), so that's all I can tell you guys for now. Thank you SO MUCH for your good wishes and back-up, it's nice to finally see people express the same anger as me. Oh and I graduated in IT Engineering, focused on multimedia, for those who were wondering.

By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 19:23 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I received a $20 gift card to Tim Horton's as a prize, and decided to use it. At the register, I was told that I'd essentially won an empty gift card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 097

You deserved it 4 133