Intimacy: Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love... - FML

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 40 818

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 817

You deserved it 5 509

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 754

You deserved it 9 198

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 709

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 5 973

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 054

You deserved it 9 316

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 8 017

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 5 700

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 177

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Spicy

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 5 460

By Squashed - 15/08/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 134

You deserved it 22 865

Next

Top comments

iBoardSlide 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 0:16

later on you'll find out he didn't stop ;)

AnorexicMuffins 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 0:13

I can't even say anything to that...

Comments

dcwd14 4

Sunday 24 April 2011 2:12

wow

finndandy 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 2:19

did he continue on while u were out cold?

Dontstealmyname 11

Sunday 24 April 2011 2:39

Well that was kinky!

spearhead 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 3:24

op deserves it for being a whale

tiswine 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:03

FATSO BINGO LOL

airborn54 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:41

now make him a sammich!

spazmattic 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:45

I am going to assume you aren't fat and looked damn sexy in your corset just failed to let yourself be comfortable in it. Props for trying, and sorry it didn't work out. Your husband is a lucky man to receive that kind of effort.

xxxInsanexxx 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:49

Did you take Emile Autumn's advice OP? ("Your corset is your aurmor. Lace it tightly; breathing is unimportant") XD

ohmandapants 16

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:53

that was to #10

toxicmurder109 4

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:53

I don't think he stoped

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Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 991

You deserved it 988

Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 183

Today, my now-ex boyfriend treated our waitress like shit. She was a young lady who just came from Venezuela and barely spoke English. He gave her no tip, ranted about “fixing this goddamn border problem” along with xenophobic slurs. Apparently, he’d forgotten I’m an immigrant too, from Colombia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 166

Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 133

You deserved it 1 531

Today, some guy punched me square in the face for bullying him through high school. I had no idea who he was, and he was angrily yelling for what I once did to him in teacher X's class. I never had teacher X. Then he realised we didn’t even go to the same school. Mistaken identity = my busted nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 105

Today, I went on a date to an owl sanctuary. Today is also the day I discovered my all-encompassing fear of owls, as I cried and pissed myself in front of my date and 15 other visitors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 988

You deserved it 1 573