Intimacy: Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love...

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 40 818

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 817

You deserved it 5 509

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 754

You deserved it 9 198

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 709

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 5 973

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 054

You deserved it 9 316

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 8 017

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 5 700

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 177

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 5 460

By Squashed - 15/08/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 134

You deserved it 22 865

iBoardSlide 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 0:16

later on you'll find out he didn't stop ;)

AnorexicMuffins 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 0:13

I can't even say anything to that...

Comments

jcingram 2

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:25

shoot he probably thought he put da pipe down real hard that night lmao.

oh_wow_why_me 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:52

now THAT is sexy

Paigeyk 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:55

116 agreed, I bet he didnt stop!

mandinerz 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 8:13

omg i feel so retarded readong that reminds of these sounds i heard coming from my parents room

GoodLookingGeese 10

Sunday 24 April 2011 8:33

LOL..was the sex that good, that you passed out???

robberry 11

Sunday 24 April 2011 8:45

Did he continue? Lol

asianive 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:12

why did you buy the right size? Don't be fooled by one size fits all......

Esmy07 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:00

that sucks big time

boygeorgebaby 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:21

oh, the thing we do for sex...

megaaann_fml 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:45

YDI for having a skanky name like 'purrykitty'.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was happily playing Diablo IV when all of a sudden it was 4 p.m. and time to go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 878

Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 811

You deserved it 2 364

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 821

You deserved it 8 724

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 724

You deserved it 11 828

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 619

You deserved it 1 022

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 937

You deserved it 2 135