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yes, I definitely failed..... I had an exam at 10:00 and thought it was 11:00. Professor locks the door at the beginning, and I would have failed the class if I was late. Fortunately, my brother repairs windows, so i ended up getting it fixed for free :)

Emotional

By Alisha Marie - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 379

You deserved it 9 187

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 193

You deserved it 2 786

By CaptainSaveAHoe - 11/09/2012 00:42 - United States - Manteca

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 951

You deserved it 2 652

CaptainSaveAHoe tells us more.

CaptainSaveAHoe 11

Wednesday 12 September 2012 2:11

so I planned for her to slip so I could mug her? the amount of logic in this comment is astounding.

By Anonymous - 19/08/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom - Kent

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 650

You deserved it 2 015

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 204

You deserved it 3 620

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 6 267

Hammer-headed

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 16:27 - Canada - Saint John

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 278

You deserved it 4 945

By PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! - 08/06/2012 21:30 - Mexico

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 484

You deserved it 5 071

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:35 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttlecock that hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 736

You deserved it 21 471

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 346

You deserved it 14 201

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 775

You deserved it 11 954

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 06:21 - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 886

You deserved it 7 317

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 297

You deserved it 7 098

By lawoman27 - 01/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 974

You deserved it 2 773

Kids these days…

By jenabp - 03/01/2011 18:56 - United States

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 865

You deserved it 4 695

Good one, thanks

By MarkTheShark - 12/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 928

You deserved it 6 868

The reviews are in

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 20:56 - United States

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 674

You deserved it 3 035

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 973

You deserved it 5 276

By Axelerate - 21/06/2014 06:49 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 023

You deserved it 5 191

Axelerate tells us more.

Axelerate 23

Sunday 22 June 2014 6:30

Hey it got posted! This girl was around her mid 20s. I work in a souvenir shop in Vegas and company policy states to verify credit cards with photo ID. With debit cards all they need is their PIN. Credit, all they do is sign but c'mon, anybody can sign the name if it's stolen. Right after she does this, I couldn't help but to burst out laughing. Can't anybody just go and change their name on Facebook anyways? She got a little irritated but I'm sure even she knew it has to be an actual ID. I wouldn't risk a write-up and tell her it's fine but she paid with cash and all was good!

By ccblock - 17/09/2010 01:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 272

You deserved it 3 714