About Zomo160
Im always borreeeeed.
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Zomo160's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

By Drewbie - / Sunday 13 January 2013 08:53 / United States - Park City

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

By hiccups / Sunday 13 January 2013 06:15 / United States - Canton

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 12 January 2013 08:14 / United States - Mansfield

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

By ugh - / Wednesday 9 January 2013 01:01 / United States - Saint Clair Shores