About Xdevotchkax
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Xdevotchkax's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    12%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
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Xdevotchkax's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 24 December 2009 20:10 / United States

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

By flurina - / Friday 18 December 2009 20:44 / Canada

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

By yoked - / Friday 18 December 2009 03:48 / United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 12 December 2009 05:20 / United States