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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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  • One more and it's business time

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Quraishakrueger's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 1 February 2012 15:01 / United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

By ugh - / Tuesday 31 January 2012 00:25 / United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

By jjs51 - / Monday 23 January 2012 22:36 / United States

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 19 December 2011 01:24 / United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 11 December 2011 11:54 / Australia