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    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Beckacloth's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

By zero_minded12 - / Thursday 21 May 2009 03:08 / United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 8 April 2009 00:11 / United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States