About Wiltedroses
Hi, I'm Paige. I have perfect pitch.
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  • YDI Master

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    16%
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Wiltedroses's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 7 June 2009 15:53 / United States

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

By ShadowBox - / Tuesday 12 March 2013 16:43 / Netherlands - Herveld

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 27 July 2012 04:46 / United States - Placentia

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

By Nick - / Friday 29 June 2012 21:39 / Australia - Sydney

Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 20 September 2010 14:33 / United States