About Valdrek
I have been reading FML's since the app first came out four or so years ago now and still love and read them every single day. I'm down to earth and I think I am level headed, it just depends on wether the person I'm speaking to is a knob head or not. I love animals, all animals really...just not crawly little buggers. I HATE any kind of animal cruelty and feel strongly enough about it to kill to stop animal cruelty. I believe in honor and duty. KiK: DmitriK Snapchat: jackusdanielsus
Valdrek - Followers
Valdrek - Followed
Valdrek's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    13%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    26%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    12%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    10%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Valdrek's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 9 April 2013 18:01 / United States

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - / Thursday 4 April 2013 16:04 / United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

By Cliché... or Touché? / Sunday 17 March 2013 09:07 /

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:54 / United States

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

By fredo - / Tuesday 19 March 2013 12:31 / United States - Ames