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Thomas_s's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

By maxthndr - / Tuesday 10 February 2009 05:36 / United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

By DutchOven - / Saturday 4 July 2009 21:07 / United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

By R_U_CEREAL - / Saturday 4 July 2009 08:58 / United States

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

By alwaysxgettingxshitxon - / Friday 3 July 2009 00:18 / United States

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

By oops... - / Friday 19 June 2009 04:23 / United States