About Retardedbullfrog
I just hop around all day. Sometimes I get out of my pond to post stuff on FML. I get help from my butler ( kid in the picture ) as to what to write in it. I enjoy playing sports with my buddies down at the pond next to mine, we usually just play basketball and eat flies.
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Retardedbullfrog's FML badges
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  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    5,300%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    13%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
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    46%
  • 50 favorites

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    1,610%
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    124%
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    118%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    66%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Retardedbullfrog's favorite FMLs

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

By SetoAyumi / Tuesday 15 November 2011 08:40 / United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

By MY CAR - / Tuesday 15 November 2011 04:51 / United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 14 November 2011 05:09 / United States

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

By Stalked - / Tuesday 15 November 2011 00:46 / United States

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

By unhappyelf / Monday 14 November 2011 21:53 / United States