About Maltwarrior Not specified
Maltwarrior - Followers
Maltwarrior - Followed
Maltwarrior's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • At night, all FMLs are grey.

    To be up moderating at this time of night, either you're really devoted or you're an insomniac.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • Censored

    Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    21%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    15%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    16%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    31%
  • Omelette Master Badge

    You found all the eggs that were laid around FML. Happy incubating!
    10%
The list of badges to find
Maltwarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 7 April 2017 04:00 /

Today, a customer left their shopping cart behind their car and backed into it. She then came inside and threatened to sue me personally for not sending someone to collect it from where she left it. After 5 minutes of her yelling, I finally got a word in edgeways: I don't work there. FML

By really - / Sunday 26 March 2017 00:00 /

Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML

By - / Saturday 18 February 2017 06:00 / Australia - Frankston

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 11 July 2015 01:23 / Canada - Surrey

Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML

By nightfall8705 - / Friday 19 June 2015 18:26 / United States