About Homeal0ne
Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname..... OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm? Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me. If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.
Homeal0ne - Followers
Homeal0ne - Followed
Homeal0ne's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    22%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    4%
The list of badges to find
Homeal0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

By Korisite / Sunday 30 October 2011 05:31 / United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

By joser6969 / Saturday 29 October 2011 14:07 / United States

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 28 October 2011 12:25 / United States

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

By sad / Tuesday 25 October 2011 10:15 / Reserved

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 25 October 2011 05:58 / United States