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zoroaster74

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zoroaster74
  • Town/Country : Victoria, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 254
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zoroaster74's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10293) - you deserved it (32075)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (4161)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5398) - you deserved it (22269)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

#19293168
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (4532)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (17834)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (7694)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (9020)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8623) - you deserved it (34327)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (4399)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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