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zoomster

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zoomster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36145
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zoomster's page activity

Visits<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:33pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>oceanprokid</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:00am<b>Blakelasto</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:45am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:37pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/03/2009 at 9:31pm<b>sunshine66</b> - the 11/26/2009 at 7:17pm<b>PositiveChillout</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 6:27pm<b>Spider</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 5:12am<b>_babyxdoll</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 8:53pm<b>altna</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 2:57pm<b>jc21</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:54am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:02am<b>shaquanda</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 9:48pm<b>DoveOrHawk</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 1:57am<b>madzi</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 2:56am<b>jasweetie1</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 10:27pm

zoomster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zoomster's favorite FMLs

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

#1680929
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15086) - you deserved it (60802)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

#1656975
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49629) - you deserved it (8260)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

#1639101
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18423) - you deserved it (58590)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69370) - you deserved it (18191)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105715) - you deserved it (8224)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (59008)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (83648)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (67848)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39027) - you deserved it (31101)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67707) - you deserved it (15883)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (6643)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)



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