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zoomster

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zoomster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36937
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zoomster's page activity

Visits<b>monsterblonde</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:57am<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:56am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:33pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>oceanprokid</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:00am<b>Blakelasto</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:45am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:37pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/03/2009 at 9:31pm<b>sunshine66</b> - the 11/26/2009 at 7:17pm<b>PositiveChillout</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 6:27pm<b>Spider</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 5:12am<b>_babyxdoll</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 8:53pm<b>altna</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 2:57pm<b>jc21</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:54am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:02am<b>shaquanda</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 9:48pm

zoomster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zoomster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11871) - you deserved it (49778)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36213) - you deserved it (11521)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

#2583409
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52158) - you deserved it (7773)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85836) - you deserved it (7071)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66375) - you deserved it (6010)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (62582)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48806) - you deserved it (7713)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (223518)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53724) - you deserved it (7986)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

#2364469
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52580) - you deserved it (2996)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54292) - you deserved it (6154)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (75555)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64503) - you deserved it (3757)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71513) - you deserved it (18514)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)



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