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zoomster

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zoomster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 September 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36027
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zoomster's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>oceanprokid</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:00am<b>Blakelasto</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:45am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:37pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/03/2009 at 9:31pm<b>sunshine66</b> - the 11/26/2009 at 7:17pm<b>PositiveChillout</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 6:27pm<b>Spider</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 5:12am<b>_babyxdoll</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 8:53pm<b>altna</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 2:57pm<b>jc21</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:54am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:02am<b>shaquanda</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 9:48pm<b>DoveOrHawk</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 1:57am<b>madzi</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 2:56am<b>jasweetie1</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 10:27pm<b>custer3_5</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 2:56am

zoomster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zoomster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

#2881104
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (53040)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80866) - you deserved it (3775)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

#2780128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39873) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
817 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118721) - you deserved it (73826)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107854) - you deserved it (4824)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69907) - you deserved it (8404)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16295) - you deserved it (45548)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94789) - you deserved it (6685)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127288) - you deserved it (7025)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17571) - you deserved it (72826)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64742) - you deserved it (6595)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62659) - you deserved it (4982)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43925) - you deserved it (11328)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

#2655825
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (6380)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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