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zoomster

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zoomster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36803
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zoomster's page activity

Visits<b>monsterblonde</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:57am<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:56am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:33pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>oceanprokid</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:00am<b>Blakelasto</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:45am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:37pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/03/2009 at 9:31pm<b>sunshine66</b> - the 11/26/2009 at 7:17pm<b>PositiveChillout</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 6:27pm<b>Spider</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 5:12am<b>_babyxdoll</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 8:53pm<b>altna</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 2:57pm<b>jc21</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:54am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:02am<b>shaquanda</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 9:48pm

zoomster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zoomster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with mah boyfriend . I opened mah eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else . I turned mah head to see what was so interesting . He was on his iPhone looking up recipe 4 thing to wrap in bacon . FML

#3271801
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56288) - you deserved it (6947)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding te subway to work. Barely anyone was on cuz of ow early it was. Me and tis one guy in a trenc coat were in te same cart. looool His stop came. He walked by me, flased me, rubbed is penis on ma arm, and ten ran away really fast. mega FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129142) - you deserved it (9652)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today , My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (2545)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

2day Mah Husband An I Were Having Sex In The Shower While Our 5-year Old Was Sleeping. Apparently , She Wasn't Sleeping An She Askd Me What Those Loud Noises Were. I Told Her I Was Singing. Now I Can't Get Her To Stop "singing" In The Shower. FML

#3058885
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18454) - you deserved it (57175)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decidd to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (57475)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad wit anoter girl. So did ma mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (110314)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MY BEST FRIEND WHO LIVES OUT OF TOWN . HE WAS STRANGELY QUIET . LATER THAT DAY I ASKD HIM WHY HE DIDN'T TALK MUCH . HE ADMITTD HE WAS JACKING OFF TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE . FML

#2975022
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53630) - you deserved it (4626)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked mah Swedish friend 4 some lines to impress this swedish grl I met at an expat party he took me to . I practised them all evening before I met her . I told her mah feelings, and she scowled . Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face . FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50582) - you deserved it (21349)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp . He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in mah ear, "You know, your really sexy." FML

#2960234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39423) - you deserved it (2774)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)

yesterday it was my 18th brthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, fir as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was enjoying some much needd serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To mah surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessd, gets up, gives me a nod an leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74556) - you deserved it (5540)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I looool was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on mah lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38839) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I rode mah bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal fir turning left. A car passing the opposite way veerd towards me and attemptd to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over mah body and mah bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81060) - you deserved it (5552)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (3593)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls . I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously . I hered one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing . She said "Oh mah god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from yur butt!" Apparently, mah ass is nicer than mah face . fat FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58768) - you deserved it (2939)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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