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zompete

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zompete

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  • Number of visits : 335
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zompete's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:49pm

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zompete's favorite FMLs

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

#14975268
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (3988)

On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (3502)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30647) - you deserved it (11414)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44043) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (4304)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (3490)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46847) - you deserved it (9273)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (48201)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13297) - you deserved it (47430)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (2354)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41910) - you deserved it (8713)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11112) - you deserved it (26667)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

#14947981
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10754) - you deserved it (27387)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:01am - misc - by notsolucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

#14942524
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6836) - you deserved it (51421)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm - money - by 2dumb2drive - United States

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

#14941696
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (4946)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by allgrowedup - United States (Texas)



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