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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (4839)
On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18601) - you deserved it (6401)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16750) - you deserved it (1273)
On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (1469)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (7487)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15092) - you deserved it (1310)
On 03/27/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (6259)
On 03/22/2012 at 10:59am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6555) - you deserved it (35736)
On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32970) - you deserved it (19752)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (5983)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (2783)
On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia
Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (1485)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:52am - animals - by JukeboxValkyrie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (1918)
On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)
Monday 20 May 2013
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