About zoPwNAgEzo : I'm 18 and from Bellevue. It's probably one of the best cities out there. I like to piss people off. With that said, you probably shouldn't take any of my comments seriously. Feel free to message me, but I only visit FML on my iPhone, and rarely on my computer. So there may be a delay in response.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6223) - you deserved it (64495)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (1975)
On 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (5645)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20707) - you deserved it (37562)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (44214)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39438) - you deserved it (10327)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2459)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14703) - you deserved it (2006)
On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (1786)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8291) - you deserved it (36348)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88745) - you deserved it (9150)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55808) - you deserved it (5610)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (4473)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (28365)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (4176)
On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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