Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zoPwNAgEzo

Offline (yesterday at 11:04pm) | Search for a member

zoPwNAgEzo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2577
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About zoPwNAgEzo : I'm 18 and from Bellevue. It's probably one of the best cities out there. I like to piss people off. With that said, you probably shouldn't take any of my comments seriously. Feel free to message me, but I only visit FML on my iPhone, and rarely on my computer. So there may be a delay in response.

zoPwNAgEzo's page activity

Visits<b>kb0410</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:02pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:25am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:31pm<b>feven</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:16pm<b>ollivander</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:26pm<b>PiratePete</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:57am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 9:15am<b>Mexicandruglord</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 7:14pm<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:16pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:53pm<b>ratjar99</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:17am<b>cgg3000</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:07pm<b>gregoryb</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 1:00pm<b>chbonbon</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 9:39pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 9:23pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:44pm<b>heinous966</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:25pm

zoPwNAgEzo's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of zoPwNAgEzo's badges

zoPwNAgEzo's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (71868)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

#13090304
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (2727)

On 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (7199)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (48765)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17927) - you deserved it (56682)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45894) - you deserved it (13625)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (3422)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

#7914611
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (2107)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10576) - you deserved it (47862)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105934) - you deserved it (12420)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62887) - you deserved it (6221)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

#7293209
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (5753)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (32386)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (5579)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: