Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zoPwNAgEzo

Offline (the 05/01/2015 at 7:00pm) | Search for a member

zoPwNAgEzo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3622
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About zoPwNAgEzo : I'm 18 and from Bellevue. It's probably one of the best cities out there. I like to piss people off. With that said, you probably shouldn't take any of my comments seriously. Feel free to message me, but I only visit FML on my iPhone, and rarely on my computer. So there may be a delay in response.

zoPwNAgEzo's page activity

Visits<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Nickwoj</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:16pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:25pm<b>biggins224</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:50pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 9:56pm<b>lolasutii</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:22pm<b>dinabear</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:08am<b>Isak366</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Queenf</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:57pm<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:24am<b>tbloom</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:08am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:16am<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Mermaidhead</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:44pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 7:38pm<b>172pilot</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:26pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:50am

zoPwNAgEzo's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of zoPwNAgEzo's badges

zoPwNAgEzo's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60995) - you deserved it (10489)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (6862)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

#14892103
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8964) - you deserved it (29302)

On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (43026)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (3879) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (7381)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (19556)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (39223)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (5447)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

#13865567
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (4771)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (4825)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML

#13797443
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11347) - you deserved it (30933)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

#13145609
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (5912)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8431) - you deserved it (76314)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: