About zoPwNAgEzo : I'm 18 and from Bellevue. It's probably one of the best cities out there. I like to piss people off. With that said, you probably shouldn't take any of my comments seriously. Feel free to message me, but I only visit FML on my iPhone, and rarely on my computer. So there may be a delay in response.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (3774)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (7509)
Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14344) - you deserved it (36467)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (2370)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (2370)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (44293)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (4383)
On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (7626)
Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7060) - you deserved it (34195)
On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34214) - you deserved it (4750)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20945) - you deserved it (9669)
On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (5086)
On 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm - misc - by me - United States
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20345) - you deserved it (3134)
On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (49782)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (7848)
On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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