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zharris86

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zharris86
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 397
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zharris86's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (7363)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38943) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40753) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40202) - you deserved it (13660)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39847) - you deserved it (3997)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36994) - you deserved it (20314)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (18290)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48724) - you deserved it (5351)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (8209)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (7498)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41794) - you deserved it (3840)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48881) - you deserved it (10474)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52948) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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