zharris86

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Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 5:00am)

zharris86

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  • Number of visits : 4823
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zharris86's page activity

Visits<b>silverstream20</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 9:56am

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zharris86's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

by well i'm fucked / 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

by jai90 / 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

by juice723 / 02/01/2014 at 9:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

by IceQueen / 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.