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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (4419)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (7554)
On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53674) - you deserved it (7629)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54050) - you deserved it (5691)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35004) - you deserved it (9896)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (44634)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (3448)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8641) - you deserved it (48244)
On 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by QueenOrangeSoda (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (43100)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51433) - you deserved it (3369)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (2362)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46786) - you deserved it (4068)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45186) - you deserved it (2850)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had yet another class with my psychotic, conservative, uber-religious teacher. The "well-known statistic" of today? Over 90% of people who have ever watched porn end up having a divorce due to psychological damage from said porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (4385)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:32am - intimacy - by WTHChristianSchool (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (2410)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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