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zharris86

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zharris86
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 400
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zharris86's favorite FMLs

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36201) - you deserved it (6499)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35693) - you deserved it (3124)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51237) - you deserved it (5871)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52707) - you deserved it (5574)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43270) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (13612)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (3392)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

#21046497
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36057) - you deserved it (5314)

On 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by IceQueen - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47025) - you deserved it (9795)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48562) - you deserved it (4737) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44911) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44911) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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