Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zharris86

Search for a member

zharris86
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 392
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zharris86's last visitors

silverstream20

zharris86's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

zharris86's favorite FMLs

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

#21071018
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (12614)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by ThatGuyWithFMLs (man) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42471) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (44706)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42618) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

#21069793
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16165) - you deserved it (33830)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm - health - by owmyfoot - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (4822)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43195) - you deserved it (4441)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40079) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47611) - you deserved it (2854)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (7325)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (5542)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: