zharris86

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Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 5:00am)

zharris86

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  • Number of visits : 3391
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zharris86's page activity

Visits<b>silverstream20</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 9:56am

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zharris86's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

by disgusted / 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

by bringthemback / 03/29/2014 at 6:34am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

by unappreciated husband / 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

by IDIOT / 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm / United States / Work

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

by shabowbow / 03/27/2014 at 2:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

by onepussytwopussy / 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

by xtinasky1 / 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

by v1k1rox / 03/05/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

by cubs44fan / 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek