zfan

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Offline (the 11/01/2014 at 4:47am)

zfan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zfan's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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zfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

by Pain_intolerant / 03/11/2011 at 9:11am / Canada / Health

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

by Emily / 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm / France (Auvergne) / Love

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

by kittyd / 01/28/2011 at 12:24am / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

by ohyaknow / 09/30/2010 at 5:56am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 10:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a dinner along with my own. Mine took a little longer to cook, so they ate before me and went back to her bedroom. I ate alone to the sound of them having fun. FML

by lonelyniceguy / 03/24/2010 at 7:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

by lost_ina_dream / 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

by mike / 02/07/2010 at 2:16am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I received an email from my professor informing me that if I missed another class, I'd be dropped from the course. I have field experience to complete tomorrow as part of my major. I emailed her two weeks ago to let her know, and we're excused by the dean. She doesn't care. FML

by meesh22 / 10/06/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

by jacked / 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Money