About zenrael : I stay up late.
zenrael's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
zenrael's favorite FMLs
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by dasteve / 11/29/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Idaho) / Money
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
by Bob / 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by sourcandy013 / 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML
by jdancerchick / 11/16/2011 at 8:47am / United States / Transportation
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
by whoopsboutthecap / 11/15/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…