About zenrael : You will never get this gypsy!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (5008)
On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (1875)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5792) - you deserved it (75918)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (37232)
On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (28351)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (1237)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6120) - you deserved it (6554)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (1272)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17796) - you deserved it (3480)
On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States
Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15604) - you deserved it (1469)
On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (16226)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (6910)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (30031)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47449) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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