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Offline (the 10/24/2016 at 4:27am)



  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1914
  • Number of comments : 276
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About zenrael : I stay up late.

zenrael's page activity

Visits<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 10:21pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 9:21pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:08am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 6:54pm<b>joco4</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 3:34pm<b>StateOfEuphoria</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:24pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:07pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 4:19am<b>QualityChrisTime</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:28am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 10:33pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:44pm<b>imaginaation</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:53pm<b>sskibba</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:59pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 2:55am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>StateOfEuphoria</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 9:24pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:07am<b>FrenchToastKick</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:03am<b>highbutshygirll</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 1:30pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:56pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:05pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:49pm<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:50am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:18am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:31am<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:46pm<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:46am<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 8:55pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:49am

zenrael's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of zenrael's badges

zenrael's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

by Blackfell / 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm / United States / Love

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

by madmomma / 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

by ihatewalmart / 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

by James / 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

by anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous