zenrael

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Offline (the 09/27/2016 at 12:39am)

zenrael

14Fucked!

zenrael
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1878
  • Number of comments : 276
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About zenrael : I stay up late.

zenrael's page activity

Visits<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 10:21pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 9:21pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:08am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 6:54pm<b>joco4</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 3:34pm<b>StateOfEuphoria</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:24pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:07pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 4:19am<b>QualityChrisTime</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:28am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 10:33pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:44pm<b>imaginaation</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:53pm<b>sskibba</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:59pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 2:55am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>StateOfEuphoria</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 9:24pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:07am<b>FrenchToastKick</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:03am<b>highbutshygirll</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 1:30pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:56pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:05pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:49pm<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:50am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:18am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:31am<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:46pm<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:46am<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 8:55pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:49am

zenrael's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of zenrael's badges

zenrael's favorite FMLs

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

by struckbystarzz / 03/27/2015 at 9:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

by awkward.. / 02/22/2015 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

by kat / 10/31/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 11:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:24am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

by jack / 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2012 at 11:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy