Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zdani

Search for a member

zdani

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1711
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zdani : Eh.

zdani's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:05am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:55pm<b>bigwiensch</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:20am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 1:18pm<b>mariam55</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 5:02am<b>tylervu11170</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:54pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/22/2012 at 7:19am<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 03/20/2012 at 10:48pm<b>Argenisjose</b> - the 02/25/2012 at 10:56pm<b>dhardesty23</b> - the 02/25/2012 at 9:45pm<b>MrsUresti</b> - the 02/18/2012 at 11:44pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/13/2012 at 12:22am<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 12:35pm<b>PSQ91</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 12:06pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:02pm<b>NinaTatianna</b> - the 09/08/2011 at 7:38pm

zdani's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of zdani's badges

zdani's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (5086)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

#19689652
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31407) - you deserved it (5330)

On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (1793)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

#19629864
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (6445)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (9405)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (1971)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

#19588990
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (3868)

On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46180) - you deserved it (8851)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (6141)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (4848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (3502)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: