Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zashed

Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 11:52pm) | Search for a member

zashed

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1878
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zashed's page activity

Visits<b>yulong730</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:25pm<b>din0m1te</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 5:34pm<b>mif</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:36am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:11am

zashed's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of zashed's badges

zashed's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49169) - you deserved it (6449)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48774) - you deserved it (2751)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

#20729197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (3402)

On 06/16/2013 at 11:46am - misc - by loveyadad (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46549) - you deserved it (4602)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (20208)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53182) - you deserved it (6511)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58048) - you deserved it (5681)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

#20720351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (2635)

On 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Elephant1718 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (6229)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (5155)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57631) - you deserved it (15912)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (50294)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54990) - you deserved it (64103)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81374) - you deserved it (3453)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58506) - you deserved it (6808)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: