Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zapskimmer

Search for a member

zapskimmer
  • Town/Country : Nine Miles, Jamaica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1210
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zapskimmer : I don't care what anybody says, I am Bob Marley and the Wailers' biggest fan.

zapskimmer's last visitors

wolf2113FinJageallmidnighteyesShinkuBarajmeg

zapskimmer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zapskimmer's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

#4832941
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12856) - you deserved it (99149)

On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

#4789213
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12262) - you deserved it (42085)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by InTheDoghouse23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

#4781162
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (3587)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

#4714998
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12572) - you deserved it (38650)

On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: