zach5432

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Offline (the 05/02/2016 at 5:39am)

zach5432

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2971
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About zach5432 : im a canadian
:O

zach5432's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Baller121</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:26am<b>sawsan_ad</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 8:58pm<b>thethunderbolt</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:04am<b>paytonn784</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:11pm<b>xadeel</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:22pm<b>roo94</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:28pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:37pm<b>brittney85</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:22am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:43pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:31am<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:56am<b>facelick</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:06am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Stardew</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:11pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:41pm

zach5432's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

zach5432's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

by wtf / 08/15/2010 at 8:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

by Mikey832 / 08/09/2010 at 9:24am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 12:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

by allalone / 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

by thanksalot / 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm / United States / Love

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

by Mangler / 06/22/2010 at 9:49am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

by Stevo / 06/18/2010 at 3:13am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

by Annakins / 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids