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zach5432

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zach5432
  • Town/Country : toronto, canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2496
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About zach5432 : im a canadian
:O

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zach5432's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (8903)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (1826)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39094) - you deserved it (12905)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (32119)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (32119)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (46064)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (38458)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36086) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

#11794777
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (3852)

On 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm - love - by thanksalot - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (43841)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

#11377747
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (4412)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:49am - misc - by Mangler (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

#11283515
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (9952)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (6326)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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