About yuzuhere : Just a lurking panda here, carry on.
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yuzuhere's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML
by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug / 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML
by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
- Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans… Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle… Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had…