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yuzuhere

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yuzuhere
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 747
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yuzuhere : ...I'd swim in an ocean of poutine if I could.

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yuzuhere's favorite FMLs

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43462) - you deserved it (4923)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41916) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (12815)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51967) - you deserved it (6863)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41502) - you deserved it (5806)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42616) - you deserved it (2744)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (5585)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (4884)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49232) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (6597)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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