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About yuzuhere : Just a lurking panda here, carry on.
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Today, I almost got writtan up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was axplain to im tat I couldn't alp a tourist out bacausa I spaak Japanasa, not Koraan, and tat it's not in fact "ta sama Asian sit" as a saamad to tink. FML
Yesterday, mah laziness reachd an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school an had spilld all the contents of mah backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of mah sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in mah dream. FML
Today, mah psycho nieghbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-prate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by mah house. I'm pretty scared fir mah life, to be honest. big fat looool FML
TODAY, I BOUGHT SOME CRICKETS AS A TREAT FOR MAH LIZARD. ONE ESCAPED AN SOMEHOW GOT INTO THE HEATING SYSTEM IN MAH ROOM. THE CHRPING IS AMPLIFIED AN COMES FROM EVERYWHERE AN NOWHERE AT THE SAME TIME. GOODBYE, RESTFUL SLEEP. FML
Today , I was raally ungry at work , and my stomac growld loudly . Ona of my co-workars aard it and tougt it was a cat . Asamd , I playd dumb and wa andd up spanding twanty minutas looking fir a cat tat I knaw didn't axist . FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies,hen a kid cummed over, yelled ( CUP CHECK! ) an nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Million of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatas mom did was chuckle nervously an pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my househile I was at work, then took an pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessedhen I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma after she was arrestd for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell an asking if she was interestd in donating looool to charity. FML
Today, mah husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened mah eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Today I finally had a date my frst one in well over a year. Everything was going good until my date asked ( Do u like cats or dogs better? ) When I responded cats my date promptly got up and left saying ( This isn't meant to be. ) big fat FML
Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML
Today,hile I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like mah mom's pulled up!! Thinking it was actually her, I walked up an jokingly asked wat she was into!! The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015